Ephemeral Rift

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The ASMR Daily 196

Quitting Drinking Without AA: Part 3

In 1939 the world saw, for the first time, something which is now known as simply: The Big Book. Some of you immediately know what I am talking about, and some of you probably think I am talking about the Bible. I’m talking about The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, which is the text from which millions of people get their advice about addiction recovery in the form of a 12-step program.

I did not achieve sobriety using the 12-step program, and in fact I only know the first step of AA…which is not something you hear a lot of recovered alcoholic say. The first step is: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.

Well…I was never able to move past that first step, because I am not powerless over alcohol, and I am not going to say that I am just because AA’s boasts that it’s the only way to stay sober. But that’s not true, because the only way to be 100% sure that you never use drugs or alcohol again, is to commit suicide. I’ve been telling people that for at least 8 years, but I didn’t want to write it on this blog and scare people away…but I think it makes the point I am trying to make, and I don’t think there’s an addict in the world who would disagree! Human’s are the only living creatures in the known universe that have the option of considering suicide, and you are not doing you mind any favors by putting off unpleasant thoughts. It’s okay to think about suicide, but it’s not okay to commit suicide. My advice? If you are considering suicide, you should wait at least one more day. Instead of committing suicide, you could consider giving up all your worldly possessions and taking off into the wilderness like Chris McCandless, or Buddha. Or you can say ftw and start a company that makes enough money for 3,000 humans. You’ve got options! Especially if you are in a 1st world country, although ironically, I think residents of 1st world countries are more likely to become addicted to drugs or alcohol in their life…but don’t quote me on that, because I have zero proof to back it up, and I am not going to Google it right now.

Anyone can commit to a suicide, it’s one of the things that make us human, but only a fool would commit suicide without considering if it is the right option for at least a year. Every once in a while, upon intaking my surroundings, I consider if I want to remove myself…but so far I have always put it off to a later date. Robin Williams didn’t commit suicide until he was 63. How old do you think he was the first time he considered it? I like to think that Robin knew what he was doing when he took his own life, and I do not feel sadness for him because I don’t think that’s what he would want. But I do want to help individuals avoid suicide. Robin avoided suicide for a long time, but I guess he never solved the underlying problems.

Getting sober is less about the act of putting down your drug of choice, and more about the act of identifying and solving your underlying problems. Whether you consume because you are sad, bored, happy, or in love, you must identify why you consume drugs and alcohol if you want any hope of freeing yourself from them. Otherwise you might, at 63 years of age, pick the bottle back up.

Suicidal thoughts played a large role in my ability to get sober. I had decided that I was scum and that I would need to take myself out. We have a moral obligation to be good people, if we are knowledgeable of our goodness. One time I went through a drive-thru drunk as hell [in the passenger seat], and apparently I told the lady working the window: “You are so ugly, you should never have kids.” How do you think I feel about that now? She might still recognize me. My face is on the internet now! Haha. I feel like shit knowing that I used to act like that, but that incident along with hundreds of others, had me concluding that if I couldn’t quit drinking, I either needed to go live in the streets and stop destroying my families welfare [if your family is paying for your addiction, consider a move to the streets because you are a pile of scum], or commit suicide. Spoiler Alert! I am not dead yet. I did spend a small amount of time living in the streets, but it was only after I quit drinking. Honestly, I would watch ASMR for like 8 hours a days to keep myself from drinking, especially during the periods I was drying out. I guess you could say ASMR kept me from committing suicide or becoming homeless either. My underlying cause is that I was bored, and the environment I was raised in did not challenge me enough, so I naturally gravitated towards something that I enjoyed, which was getting high. I bet I would have enjoyed rocket science too, but nobody has ever tried to sell me on rocket science like they do on getting high. Now I get high everyday, and for a couple years, I was getting too high on many different substances. I do wish, sometimes, that I didn’t smoke weed everyday, but you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. You can however teach a dog to stop pissing on the electric fence, I’m pretty sure of that.

Ephemeral Rift

Would you believe me if I said I wrote most of this article while listening to this video haha, and honestly I haven’t yet watched the video above, but I LOVE Ephemeral Rift, and I trust that he has your best interests in mind. I didn’t think Planet was very fitting for today’s grim topics. Plus, I am a Beatnik, and so when I saw this I was like what! A lot of people think I’m a hippie, but the hippies are in Hashbury. You’re more likely to find me in North Beach.

I think that a lot of AA members these days understand that there is more than one way to achieve sobriety, but whenever I meet an old-timer that attended AA and I tell them I got sober without AA, they always say “Good luck! We’ll see you in AA!” Which is degrading and ruins the AA name. Those individuals never strike me as happy individuals, but they don’t drink alcohol, that’s forsure! Me? I consider myself to be a happy person. Did you read what I wrote above? I didn’t commit suicide, and I did quit drinking. I am not a sad person for thinking about suicide, I am a logical one. You are not a sad person for thinking about your next fix, and perhaps you are just being a logical person. Logically, why do you want that fix? We will discuss this more tomorrow.

x. Spark Twain

Everyday Sobriety Advice

I am a recovered alcoholic/drug addict, but I am not a qualified addiction counselor. To help other alcoholics/addicts achieve sobriety, I have created the mantra’s below. Although I call them “steps,” I believe that all four mantra’s should be recited in concurrence.

When the urge to drink alcohol or use drugs comes upon you, I suggest reciting these four steps, and then implementing an activity to “kill time” until your urge to use drugs/alcohol is less intense. I suggest you use ASMR videos to “kill time”

Good luck, My Friend

Below are the steps of admittance required for using The ASMR.Community Sobriety Program [ACSP] successfully.

Step 1: “Sobriety is a choice, and it is up to me to make the right choice.”

Step 2: “Not everybody will be able to achieve sobriety, but that knowledge does not prevent my success regarding sobriety.”

Step 3: “The urge to imbibe (substances that I know will prevent my success) is finite. Sometimes the urge will exist, sometimes the urge will not exist.”

Step 4: “Sobriety is not the same for everyone. Success is.”

I believe the steps I listed above are a complete, non-exclusionary list of all mental admissions needed to achieve your goals regarding sobriety.


Everybody’s definition of sobriety is different, but everybody’s definition of success is the same.

* * *

If you would like to learn more, make sure to read our Philosophy Of Addiction Recovery 1.

For more daily support, check out Sober James on YouTube. He does a livestream every night at 21:00 Eastern Standard Time, and his live streams are a great place to receive support, gain motivation, and listen to encouragement in regard to addiction recovery. His program is based on the Twelve Steps.

SMART Recovery is another great program for individuals who are ready to tackle their addictions.

If you are seeking spiritual guidance, I highly encourage you to check out Tarot Reader ASMR. Her name is Amalia, and she is a kind-hearted individual with a skill for bringing us closer to ourselves.

Don’t underestimate the power of Yoga! Specifically Yoga With Adriene. My shoulder is broken, and so you can do some Yoga for me too. I really wish I could…

If you are looking or more information about ASMR, I’ve found the best place to learn about the subject is ASMR University. Their information is accurate [to the best of my knowledge], and plentiful. I mostly work with the application of ASMR, but there is a whole lot more to ASMR than using it to gain sobriety or fall asleep, including the history and the science of it.

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